Why do conversations sometimes become more enjoyable the more risqué they are? This is a form of obscene solidarity, which refers to the psychological bond and collective identity formed when people share taboo, vulgar, or private content together. It’s not just about literal sexual connotations; it also broadly includes things that are considered "not quite proper" within social norms—such as dirty jokes, private gossip, coarse language, or discussions of taboo topics.

For example, a group of students may appear to follow school rules on the surface but secretly smoke and share risqué jokes or play pranks on teachers. This creates a strong sense of "us" among them. The bond formed through jointly doing something that is not publicly permitted—this act of shared mischief—is the embryonic form of obscene solidarity.

The essence of obscene solidarity is a psychological form of moral bonding. From a psychoanalytic perspective, it creates a space where social discipline is temporarily set aside, allowing the id to express itself. When we do something bad together and share a secret, it distinguishes us from outsiders. This conspiracy fosters trust and boundaries, but such solidarity is actually fragile and dangerous.

Its fragility lies in its dependence on an external enemy—such as a strict authority figure, mainstream social standards, or another group. Once this common target disappears, the group may lose its cohesion.

The danger is that maintaining this connection often requires seeking increasingly extreme or boundary-crossing obscene behaviors, which can evolve into cyberbullying, campus cliques, or bullying. The aggression they release may target outsiders or internal scapegoats. When private sharing becomes a ticket for entry among close friends, it can create pressure on introverted or conservative members. If risqué jokes become the only form of intimacy among men, those who are uncomfortable with this style of communication may be excluded.

True intimacy should be able to accommodate appropriate sharing as well as tolerate inappropriate honesty. It should allow discussions of noble ideals and confront lower desires. A healthy group can build bonds through shared jokes while respecting the boundaries of those who choose not to participate.

The highest form of unity is not about how much we can lower ourselves, but about how much we can elevate ourselves together. At the same time, this process should not sacrifice mutual acceptance of each other's true selves. When we can discuss ideals openly in the sunlight and share vulnerabilities in shadows without judgment, that kind of connection is the most resilient.

Obscene solidarity is a psychological phenomenon proposed by Slavoj Žižek. It suggests that if a group has no one sharing risqué images, the group's relationships tend to be distant and discordant. Even among academic circles with many scholars, risqué images are necessary for everyone to feel close and comfortable. A family-like group that cannot share dirty pictures or jokes becomes particularly estranged.