There is a type of adolescence issue that almost never triggers conflicts but is the highest risk: kids appear fine. This situation is called inward collapse. The child is quiet, cooperative, not causing trouble; motivation decreases but tasks can still be completed; responses to the future are indifferent. Parents often say: No problem, just a bit lazy. But an important judgment is: if nothing happens during adolescence, it is often not stability but that growth has been suppressed. Adolescence should involve conflicts, self-differentiation, and meaning reconstruction; being overly "calm" is actually abnormal. Inward collapse usually results from several mechanisms stacking together:
First, emotions are suppressed rather than understood. Children learn early: expressing emotions is useless, or even risky, so they choose not to speak. Being quiet is not because they have no emotions, but because they give up on expression. Second, the self-system is paused. To maintain relationship safety, children do not argue or express their stance; it seems mature but is actually a delay in self-activation. Third, the sense of meaning is cut off. External drives fail during adolescence; without internal motivation, children do not rebel but become empty—"whatever." Fourth, energy is consumed inwardly over the long term. Fatigue, decreased attention, reduced interest may seem normal but could be precursors to depression and a collapse of self-worth.
External outbursts are problems expressed outward, inward collapse is problems turned inward. The former is noisy, the latter is quiet, but the latter is easier to overlook and more dangerous. What truly needs vigilance is not the child's quietness but whether they have lost the desire to express, judge, and participate. In summary: one of the most dangerous states in adolescence is not outbursts but lack of response. Children do not need supervision and evaluation but rather space where they are taken seriously, allowed to express and think.
View Original
This page may contain third-party content, which is provided for information purposes only (not representations/warranties) and should not be considered as an endorsement of its views by Gate, nor as financial or professional advice. See Disclaimer for details.
There is a type of adolescence issue that almost never triggers conflicts but is the highest risk: kids appear fine. This situation is called inward collapse. The child is quiet, cooperative, not causing trouble; motivation decreases but tasks can still be completed; responses to the future are indifferent. Parents often say: No problem, just a bit lazy. But an important judgment is: if nothing happens during adolescence, it is often not stability but that growth has been suppressed. Adolescence should involve conflicts, self-differentiation, and meaning reconstruction; being overly "calm" is actually abnormal. Inward collapse usually results from several mechanisms stacking together:
First, emotions are suppressed rather than understood. Children learn early: expressing emotions is useless, or even risky, so they choose not to speak. Being quiet is not because they have no emotions, but because they give up on expression. Second, the self-system is paused. To maintain relationship safety, children do not argue or express their stance; it seems mature but is actually a delay in self-activation. Third, the sense of meaning is cut off. External drives fail during adolescence; without internal motivation, children do not rebel but become empty—"whatever." Fourth, energy is consumed inwardly over the long term. Fatigue, decreased attention, reduced interest may seem normal but could be precursors to depression and a collapse of self-worth.
External outbursts are problems expressed outward, inward collapse is problems turned inward. The former is noisy, the latter is quiet, but the latter is easier to overlook and more dangerous. What truly needs vigilance is not the child's quietness but whether they have lost the desire to express, judge, and participate. In summary: one of the most dangerous states in adolescence is not outbursts but lack of response. Children do not need supervision and evaluation but rather space where they are taken seriously, allowed to express and think.