During my graduate studies, I suddenly fell into nihilism. There were no changes in my life, I just suddenly started pondering the meaning of life, thinking about social issues... At that time, there was a senior who was ten years older than me, and he told me that I had experienced an "awakening of consciousness."

That was the first time I heard this term, and I always regarded it as my guiding principle, because I couldn't think of any other explanation.

It wasn't until recently, after reading some books on neuroscience, that I suddenly realized that what we call "awakening of consciousness" might simply be the gradual maturation of brain functions. Human brain functions do indeed mature gradually. I used to have mild face blindness and was extremely bad with directions, but it seems to have improved over time. Before college, I was almost unconscious, with no profound memories; but recently, I can remember even things from just two years ago vividly.

Actually, all of this happened less than three years ago, and sometimes I really don't know how to explain a particular experience.